Monday, November 9, 2009
as i lay me down to sleep i think about my day's work...i did good. the chores i assigned myself to do are down. i can sleep with a clear head as far as those type of things are concerned. but i sleep alone. alone in my bed. no one there to hold me and tell me little nothings that really do mean the world. no joking and laughing and complaining i have to get up. just me...and chaos. it's a very quiet time. i can let the night fully enclose around me when i start to drift. last night's dream was a little unexpected. i have not looked up a meaning yet, at least someone else's meaning. i do have some assumptions of my own about the whole issue. maybe some of my worlds are colliding and i've made a whole new world that is just my own...but not really. today all is laid out for everyone to see. i guess that's always how it has been but now it is just so concrete. but i don't want to get away from this feeling of alone ness. it is somewhat comforting but i still want to pull away from it. if someone would pull me away from it...or poke or prode. something. but just me and this feeling for tonight. the night and me and my thoughts. let me think as i drift off.